The Official Writing Challenge
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I agree. I thought your telling of the story and of Mary's emotions was well done!
I have read this story told in many ways, but you have added the drama and realism to the narration. Thank you.
This is one of my favorites this week. You drew me right in. Great job.
Thanks for this unique peek into the thoughts of this familiar Bible character. Well-written.
you write beautifully!
When I did not know Christ, I wondered as Mary did, if He even had time for me. Why should he care? Thank God that He does care about even the hairs on my head. Beautifully done:)
I think I could relate to the nervousness approaching Jesus, someone I thought to be a mighty man of God..and me a sinner. I liked your take on the story- and thinking that in the prescense of the Holy One I know I would break down and cry too. Very realistic emotions described.
God bless ya, littlelight
Thanks for giving us a glance into your perception of Mary. Great emotion and tension. Good job!
I really like your style! I do agree that it would be better to lend a bit of mystery to whom this woman is, unnamed at the beginning. The last paragraph has too many Mary's in it. I think it might have more 'punch' if only one were used there, when she realizes that her name holds a new identity. That God's relationship is intimate personal.
Very well done :) I enjoyed reading your version.
Beautifully written. You have presented Mary's emotions very vividly and drawn the reader along with your story telling.
Very good work. I love the emotions you attribute to Mary as she approached Jesus. I would have felt like that.
Yes, you really connected to Mary and portrayed her probable thought and emotions very convincingly. yeggy
You are good at writing thoughts and feelings. Take this up one level and make the story come even more alive by adding in the senses-smells, textures, sounds, movements; let us be Mary.