The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.




TRUST JESUS TODAY





  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: PICNIC - deadline 7-12-12 @ 9:59 AM NY Time (07/05/12)
He says, "Come to the table; come eat and drink of Me. You can have anything you want; come and take it free. There's a plate here of suffering, one of trials by fire; another of persecution, of rejection and denial. Here's a drink of My sorrow, of My anguish and My pain; come know the ridicule I endure, the mockery and the shame. Here's a bowlful of poverty, a mouthful of humility; some spoonfuls of righteous anger and My burning cry for justice. Come and taste of self-denial and the crucifixion of the flesh; savor separation from the world and enjoy emptiness as well. Try forkfuls of forgiveness when your enemies attack; indulge in heaping scoops of mercy as you erase their mistakes and don't stab back. Come to Me and eat freely, I offer you this fare; come quickly and dine on Me, dine at My table."

I look at Him with apparent shock and view His food and drink; incredulously I can't believe the meal He is offering me. I don't much like shame or being unnoticed-what a ridiculous walk He has chosen! Why go low and never be known- I was made for fame and a throne! Being poor and needy doesn't seem fun-what happened to proud and to strong? I like being accepted and everyone's friend, not the lone man despised in a crowd. I want to draw near for this Man seems quite great, His radiance alone blinds my eyes; but I look to the left and gaze to the right at the spread of more tables not far.

And there what a sight! What a glorious array of sweets and of treats quite divine! Could any resist or easily dismiss such an offer of delights such as these? Could they pass by riches and scoff at fame, or turn down renown and laugh at praise? Could they deny gain of every sort and easily scorn ease and comfort? It would be so easy to choose these pleasing meals; my flesh it wrestles and inwardly squirms. It begs me to turn aside to any alluring dish, and though I am tempted I continue to resist. My gaze is fixed, glued on this Man; though I'm thoroughly confused, before Him I stand.

This Man sits alone at a table quite full; He prepared it all day, though none have chosen to stay. At all other tables swarms of people enjoy the feasts of the meals the World set forth. Groveling in lusts they fill up their flesh, getting drunk on the wines of their temporal idols. As I watch they seem happy, perfectly content; I wonder why I remain empty by denying myself.

But before I depart and leave this Man to Himself, I look in His eyes-behold they are burning with fire! Overwhelmed by the sight I sit down for a moment; I'm caught out of breath and completely alarmed. For I saw in that second something unheard of and rare; I saw burning inside a love He was yearning to share. There in the depths of this Man's heart was a gift of desire, an affection for man that burned as strong as a fire. It ached for my life to know that it was prized; it ached for mankind to know His unending desire. It longed for all children to come eat from His table, to know He was truly a real Man and not a made up story or fable.

With solemn acceptance this Man finally spoke, as sorrow filled His eyes and grief choked His voice. He looked straight at me and began to with anguish reveal, the reason why He sat alone at His grandiose table.

"Man doesn't want Me- they never really have. They solely want My blessings and the gifts from My hand. They're unconcerned with My personhood and who I truly am; for if they cared to know My heart they would delightfully eat the food I have. The marriage vow of love yokes two together regardless of, the trials and the hardships that are certain still to come. To truly follow Me is a price few will choose to pay, to drink the cup I've drunk is a sacrifice few will ever make. Thus I dine alone at My table never full; though I invite all to My picnic, the World's is much more fun."
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 628 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jody Day 
07/13/12
Reads like a dream or vision. Nicely done.
Jenna Dawn
07/13/12
This is quite amazing. A definite original, thought provoking and very well written.

There are a few times it seems your punctuation isn't quite right.

"And there what a sight!" It either needs a comma after "there" or separated into two sentences.

"He looked straight at me and began to with anguish reveal, the reason why He sat alone at His grandiose table." This sentence feels a little awkward. Not sure why there is a comma after "reveal". It feels like it should read, "He looked straight at me and with anguish began to reveal the reason why He sat alone at His grandiose table.

Other than a few nitpicky things like this, I have a hard time finding anything to improve.

Very nicely done. I'm sure it will place well.

Jenna Dawn
07/13/12
Actually I think in my suggested sentence rewrite, you need commas around "with anguish", so it would read like this:

"He looked straight at me and, with anguish, began to reveal . . . "

I'm such a detail person. Can't help it!
C D Swanson 
07/13/12
Great job with this clever entry. You were on topic and provided a different insight to the topic at hand. I enjoyed it this deep piece.

God Bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
07/13/12
Wow this is a powerful piece. The first and last paragraphs are simply divine. I wonder if more people would have appreciated the rhyme and rhythm you so expertly crafted if it were in a more "typical" poetic format. But the true power is the truth behind the words. You have an incredible gift and I'm eager to read more of your work. This definitely deserves another Wow!
C D Swanson 
07/19/12
Congratulations! God bless~
Jenna Dawn
07/19/12
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR PLACEMENT!!!!

I "told" you it would place well. ;) Haha!