The Official Writing Challenge
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I felt your heart in this powerful entry. Your resolve in wanting to go forward is apparent, at least to me...and I feel God will lead you to where you need to be.

As Christians we all struggle with the "battlefield" of our minds...But, we know how to go forward, only through His grace and His help. This story touched my heart and your words will touch many.

I believe you have already "started your ministry" right here...God will take you through the rest.

God Bless you abundantly~
This is a well-written essay. You did a great job of asking the reader and yourself some thought provoking questions.

Just a couple of little things. Don't tell the reader what you're going to do. ex. -First let me say that to open up and be totally honest is a little scary
Don't tell me you are going to say it, just say it. (also there should be a comma after first)- Rewording the sentence just a tiny bit goes from telling to showing. ex. Opening up and honestly examining my life scares me. My palms start sweating and my knee trembles at the thought of appearing foolish.
I tried to stay true to what you were saying while trying to paint a picture for the reader.

The other thing is generally it is discouraged to write about FW and the challenge because the EC entries go into an anthology where the reader may have no knowledge of the site or the topic. You did a nice job explaining it so I think any reader would understand but I wanted to point it out just in case.

I could so relate to your MC. I run from God all the time. I often joke that he needs to throw bricks at me to get my attention. Finances have been a worry for me as well, but just when we need it the most God comes through. The latest example is I was worried how my daughter would be able to afford the Christian College she wants to attend next year. I wanted her to go to a less expensive state school. She received her scholarships and grants and came up $5,000 short. I prayed and called the financial aid office to explain I had health problems. They decided to see if they could find more money for her. meanwhile I was pushing the State School. Guess how much more money they offered her? Yep just what she needed %$5,000. god does take care of us and you did a great job illustrating that point. I still need to be reminded every now and then. God bless you for following what he placed on your heart and sharing it with me. :)
Isn't it too cool how, when we are going thru something, EVERYWHERE we go or look or read, HE is saying the same thing to us. He truly is everywhere. I enjoyed reading this and yes I can relate. I guess we all can at different stages of life.
I'm so glad you threw this brick! I almost missed it.

I appreciated this entry for so many reasons, and really liked it when you said...

"First let me say that to open up and be totally honest is a little scary, and Im afraid Ill look like a bit of a fool. But I think the confession will be part of the healing. And I also believe that honest sharing of struggles is a key part of our faith. As Christians we are on a journey to expose our carnal mindsets and bring about the victory of transformation. When that happens we have a testimony to share. But before the testimony of victory comes the battle"

Amen and Amen! Confession (coming out of denial) is the first step in walking free from "anything" that holds us captive or in bondage. Including our fear of stepping out in faith in obedience to God.

Shann is right, because you have mentioned the "Challenge" this entry may not be eligible for the FaithWriter's publication. However, it remains a very POWERFUL testimony of your struggle to trust in, and follow God's leading in your life.

This entry would give many readers hope, and I do pray you share it anywhere and everywhere you can.

I enjoyed this very, very much!

Consider this my "Two Thumbs Up!"
A very well written piece, I believe many of us can identify with you, especially of God's direction and the topics for challenge writing. I like the way you approach the topic starting with avoidance and then leading it to the main point. The lesson to learn from your story comes through very well. It reminds me of Psalm 139:8-10. Thanks for sharing this.
Congratulations for ranking 8th in level one!