The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is a nice devotion and you make some wonderful points.

Some may find it a tad preachy. An easy way to avoid this is make it personal and use the word I instead of you. It will still cause the reader to think but will remove the feel of being lectured.

Also take note at how often you repeated some of the words like rest and life. Try using different words to spice up your writing for example respite instead of break and existence instead of life.

Last bit of red ink would be to write out Ecclesiastes. There may be someone totally unfamiliar with the books of the Bible who is touched by your words and yearns to find out more.

You've done a great job of making the reader think. You also fully incorporated the topic in a relatively fresh way. You have a great bit here.

I know it may seem like I gave you a lot of red ink but you are a strong writer with some wonderful interpretations of this verse. The things I mentioned are little and could turn you into an outstanding writer. Really nice job.
Your entry was very moving and gave a lot for the reader to think about. My favorite sentence in this was "Allow the balm of His love to soothe your troubled thoughts and brush away the fears that hold you." That seemed rather poetic to me. I allowed Jesus to brush away the fears that held me a prisoner thirty-two years ago. Thank God someone cared enough for me to tell me about Jesus. You are doing the same for others in this entry. God bless you.
Thank you for this loving tribute to the God. Your heart clearly is for the Lord, and it came through on your lovely entry.

I really loved it. Thank you.
God Bless~
Congratulations & God Bless~