The Official Writing Challenge
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I liked the story line of this entry; however, I felt it ended too abruptly. I don't know if that was because of the word count, but it didn't seem to transition from him talking about getting ahead to him tell his wife he would work on it that weekend. Other than that, I enjoyed your story and the message it had for us.
Ralph is so typical of Americans everywhere, women as well as men these days. Your story holds a great message because to God marriage and family are sacred commitments and far more important than gaining the so-called "American Dream". There are times when we need to put aside our ambitions to serve God better. I love what you had to say. Thanks for writing this.
This story has a good message. The dialogue keeps the story moving. It fits the topic and is relevant to our society today. Good job:)

Watch for unnecessary commas. Sometimes reading aloud will help identify those punctuation problems and repetitiveness. You don't have to give every detail. Example. We know she used her hands to rub his back and Ralph put that hot dish in the microwave twice.

I do love the action of the meal while they are talking. Keep writing:)
Wonderful job with this powerful story...great message. Many can get caught up with their accomplishements...not realizing that without God in the equation it will be fleeting and empty.
Jesus said, "We cannot serve two masters" Great job of bringing this message home with clarity.

God Bless~