The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I loved this story. Thank you for this. God Bless~
I loved the title as much as the article. You did a great job of telling the story.
This was a great story. The beginning was a wonderful start. I could tell it was a true story. You did a nice job bringing the characters to life.

Have someone proof your stories to catch little things, like a needed comma or to write out numbers 1-10 (like in 4 years).
Be careful of things like using two question marks to show his disbelief. Instead show the reader with your words like: His eyebrows shot up and his mouth dropped as he blinked his eyes.

The ending was good. It left me with a warm feeling. You did a nice job of covering the topic while delivering a clear message to the reader.
Very good story and right on topic.

Perhaps more of the conflict between the MC and the future mother-in-law might have enhanced this good writing. You didn't need as much description setting up as you used.
I liked this story. I was a taxi driver and my father was a train driver.

It kept my interest right to the end.

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. You did a great job capturing his hope, frustration, pride, and humility. Good job!
I enjoyed this story from start to finish and congratulate you on taking first place. Keep up the good writing and you'll be moving to the next level in no time.
Congrats on your win!
God Bless~
This was a delightful story; one you should be proud of. I would suggest you proof your work more carefully before submission. I noted several places where words were left out. That said, your story was a delight to read. I look forward to reading other entries by you.