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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Agreement/Disagreement (01/19/12)
Because of the death of Paul Milstone, it was a contentious debate . No one expected Ted Fondale (D) and Norm Doleman (R) to be the next US Senator.

The moderator asked, "Ted, because you just entered the race, no one knows what your view is on abortion. When does life begin?"

Ted let out a deep breath. "That question is a ridiculous waste of time. The election is Tuesday. People care more about the unemployment rate."
Norm banged his hand on the podium. "That's absurd! There's no reason we can't take the time. Don't you think the people have the right to know where you stand on life?"

Ted snickered. "If you were to ask most people on the street, they would say the economy is more important than abortion."

Norm’s face turned a crimson red as he scowled at Ted. "I've never said that the economy is not important! The economy will always be an issue. We can deal with both."

Ted sneered. "What are you going to say to someone who is unemployed -- Sorry but I’m going to put you on the back burner?"

Norm glared at Ted as he looked over the top of his glasses. "That's an outrageous comment! I’m not going to put the unemployed on the back burner.

It’s becoming clear to me that you’re a typical Democrat. You don’t care about unborn babies!"

Ted smirked. "Abortion is here to stay. Thank God it will never end." He gritted his teeth. "We have a 15 percent unemployment rate, therefore people will do anything to get a job. They don't care about abortion."

By now, Norm’s face glowed like a red tomato. "You haven’t answered the question. When does life begin? Sure, we all realize that Paul’s policies destroyed jobs; so if we lower taxes the CEO’s will have the money to expand their companies. At the same time, we can add a human life amendment to our constitution." Norm paused and shook his head "Why can't you answer a simple question?"

Ted threw his hands into the air. "The sad thing is you’ll never understand the plight of the unemployed person. The economy is more important than abortion. I stand by what I believe."

*******
On election night, the crowd cheered at Doleman headquarters. Norm walked out on the stage. "I just spoke to Ted and he congratulated me on my victory. He sounded very gracious when he wished me luck as your new US Senator. I reassured him that I will be an advocate to bring more jobs to our state.”

The crowd jumped to its feet while screaming for joy, Norm put his hands up and the crowd hushed. "Ladies and Gentleman, I have always been pro-life and I will not put the issue of life on the back burner just because we have a 15 percent unemployment rate. Again, so no one takes my words out of context, we will deal with both issues simultaneously."

The crowd roared as Norm stepped off the stage and shook hands with his constituents.
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This article has been read 824 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
01/26/12
Interesting and right on target with the topic. Clearly a debate for the ages...I love that Norm won! Good job with this. It was well written and held my interest. God Bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
01/27/12
I enjoyed this lively debate. You did a great job covering the topic. The beginning was interesting and I was anxious to read on.

I think one of the things you need to be careful is repeating words (unless it's done for effect) You used economy 3 xs in a sentence or two. Grab a thesaurus and stretch yourself to use new words. In a short story like this, try to avoid repeating the major words at all or maybe just once but try to separate them. Use phrases like the recession, have the speaker talk about getting people spending money again. Sometimes you have to repeat words, but don't be afraid of expanding your vocabulary.

The ending was great. It came to a good end and brought the reader full circle. I like pieces that make me stop and think and your piece certainly did that.
Judy Sauer 
01/28/12
Powerful story. There were many things that rubbed me the wrong way. What this means is, you did a really good job getting across the two issues.

I especially liked the ending. Pro-Life and unemployment can be worked on together. Now if only we can get the real politicians to act accordingly. Nice job!
Jenna Dawn
01/29/12
Nice job. Your story is certainly on topic.

There were several small errors in formatting. There should be a space before "Norm banged his hand on the podium." And there should NOT be a space when Norm continues his dialogue by saying "It's becoming clear to me . . . " If you want to a pause there, you could throw in a tidbit of action between his sentences. "He shook his head" or "He let out a sigh".

As for formatting, make sure you preview your entry before hitting the submit button. Sometimes things change from how it was in the original document. If you want to center your asterisks you can do it with html code, which is easy to Google. To center you put
before and
after whatever you want to center.

I notice within your dialogue all your action phrases precede what the character is saying. Try mixing it up and putting some after dialogue.

You did a good job writing on a controversial subject. Keep writing!
Leola Ogle
01/31/12
I remember being in Level 1 and so hungry for constructive criticism. Learn from what others tell you and it will be such a benefit. Thanks so much for the boldness to write about a controversial topic. Loved it. God bless!
Jody Day 
02/01/12
Spot on the topic, good job. I like that you used action to introduce the dialogue: snickered, smirked, etc, but do mix up their position around your dialogue sentences. Nicely done.