The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/25/05
I would LOVE to see a longer version of this! Very effective the way you repeated the first paragraph at the end..with just that very important difference.
10/27/05
This is good! Kept my attention to the very end. I was hoping he would not allow himself to drown in the grief of what he'd done - what he'd had to do.
10/27/05
This is good! Kept my attention to the very end. I was hoping he would not allow himself to drown in the grief of what he'd done - what he'd had to do. Nicely done.
10/27/05
Oooh, brilliant repetition of the first paragraph - that ties the topic in very nicely. GREAT story! (One tiny error - escalaTed)
10/27/05
I love how you made the slight change from the first paragraph to the end one. Some of the action scenes seemed difficult to get in all I know you wanted to show but you carried the idea well and again ended it terrific!
10/27/05
What suspense! This story is well written.
Terrific, there is so much more story than the well chosen words written here. (Hope that makes sense.)
10/27/05
This is one of my favorites this week. You had me sitting on the edge of my chair. Well done.
Must be over-emotional. This one definitely made me cry. Great job Deb!
ooo, good choice on title! ;-) I, too, loved how you tied the first and last paragraphs together. Well done!
10/27/05
Good job with this one. It must have been hard to squish all you wanted to write into 750 words.
Ditto to all of the above. And especially loved the way you repeated the first paragraph (I know it's already been said but it was just so effective). Well done!
10/28/05
Powerful...nice job
Excellent story telling! You had me all the way through.
10/30/05
Good stuff, a little predictable, but very well written.
Very good, Deb! You had me on pins and needles wondering if he was going to jump or not. Keep up the good work!