The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is a great story. I loved the Chaplain and Shorty was such a lovable character.

Remember to start a new paragraph each time a different person speaks. this is a good story but you did a lot of telling instead of showing. Instead of telling us Shorty is dyslexic and challenged show us by having shorty stumble while reading or describe the Chaplin helping Shorty how to do something new. Show Shorty's confusion by describing his eyebrows crinkling or his lips turned downward as he softly bit on his lower lip.

I really like your story qand the message is great. I could relate to Shorty and the need to feel needed. Many people need to understand that. Keep writing and polishing the little things, you have a lot of raw talent.

Your characters' embody Christ's love and kindness. I envision a great writer on the horizon. Keep writing!
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