The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
For the most part you did a good job using dialogue to tell the story. It might have been possible to actually start the story with less back round information and more dialogue. Good points about 'what ifs?'
I agree with the post above. The dialogue was good, however, the beginning and ending could have tied your main idea and purpose somehow. You can be as creative as you like. Good job.
Good detail. Interesting situation that could happen to anyone of us. Grammar needs improving for easier flow of sentences. I use my grammar check in Word (it's handy and I need it!)
You made a great point, in a clear and simple way that anyone can get the message. I appreciated your true-to-life story.
Oil Change problems are but one "What if" I've experience over the years.

I wasn't sure about the first paragraph and its meaning. I think you meant to show that the mechanic started to drain the oil, before it was decided you didn't need it. That part was a bit fuzzy.

Your title needs "An" before Oil

Keep writing and reading other stories to learn how to improve your show rather than tell skills.

Thanks for writing a story about real life.
This is a good message. I could relate to the What ifs. You had a few typos (you instead of your) but overall did a nice job with this. Keep writing and work on proofreading Nice job.