The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I like this.

Be careful with punctuation, especially semi-colon use.

You did an awesome job keeping the intensity up. Great job.
Wow you did an incredible job of telling this story. I thought they'd be safe in their hiding place but truth be told there weren't many happy endings during this horrific blemish on history. You did such an outstanding job I felt like I was right there watching it This is one of my favorite pieces of this topic and of your work You did a great job.
Congratulations for placing 7th in level one!
This is a haunting story. Haunting because-although it is fiction-it is all too real. My heart bleeds for the families who lost each other to such nonsensical violence. You didn't give us a happy ending, but unfortunately, you gave us truth. This one will stay with me tonight.
Well done Kathleen, very good and well written. Another tragic story of war and slaughter.