The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Good story and the point was well made. It would be good to re-evaluate your use of quotation marks and clarify what is spoken and what is thought.
I agree ... a very good message and a good exmaple as well. You might want to focus on separating the dialog so it is clearer not only what is speech and thought but who is speaking (one pvt or the other). Very on topic. Overall, nice work!
I enjoyed this little glimpse into how hard basis training is. You did a pretty good job of showing vs. telling although in the middle of the MC's dialog you lift the dialog and started telling.

If the MC had quoted everything Grandpa said it would have been more powerful. Just remember to add quotes at the start of a new paragraph if it's the same speaker but you don't put the end quotes at the end of the paragraph until the speaker is done speaking.

Your message is great for anyone going through a tough time in life.

Congratulations for placing 6th in level one!
Oops sorry I make it a point not to read other comments until I post mine so I know it's my opinion so I didn't notice that I was repeating the same advice but I hope it helped a little:)