The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
The idea of an anthropomorphized Bible is clever.

You switched tenses (past to present) a few times--a bit confusing. And I almost feel as if the re-telling of the story of Ruth didn't quite belong there. Maybe having the Bible overhear more conversations like that of the girls? That was very well-done and interesting.

I was also very intrigued by the boy with the back brace at the end, and would like to get to know him better.
I loved your ending. For me, it brought back the beginning and satisfied the longing of the book. But I agree with Jan about the story of Ruth and Boaz being too long. I'd love to have heard another juxtaposition of library patron and Bible story. Oh, and I loved the title of the first book!
First you did a great job in thinking outside of the box. I really enjoyed your POV. You also have a delightful but subtle sense of humor.

I noticed you used the wrong its in the beginning. Those can be hard for some people to remember, perhaps a proof reader would help or letting the piece set overnight then proofing it with fresh eyes.

You did a great job pairing up the modern stories with a Biblical message. I really enjoyed this.

Congratulations for placing 10th in level one!
Lovely story! Thank you for always commenting on others entries, it is so helpful and lovely to get someones criticism or compliment:)