The Official Writing Challenge
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This is a wonderful children's story. The characters were believable. I liked how you tackled the issue of bullying.

Make sure you have a good proofreader. There were quite a few mistakes like whole instead of hole and are instead of or.

You did a great job in most places of showing instead of telling but every once in a while you would drift back into telling.

Keep writing I really enjoyed this and once you polished it some it would be great as a Sunday School handout or a child's magazine like Pockets. Overall you did a very good job.
04/27/11
ah... heartwarming! and I love your ending!