The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/24/11
Great description of the stalking and standing up for one's self. The ending seemed a little short- maybe adding something more positive or more information about her 100 years.
02/25/11
I was thinking about writing a story about a 100th birthday party, but I changed my mind. However, your story was very unpredicted and dramatic.

The character's experience seemed very true to a victim's retelling. I think the ending needed a little more definition, but I really enjoyed reading this piece.

This is a thrilling story, you grabbed me by surprise and took me on a wonderful ride.

Just a little red ink, I noticed you used past instead of passedand were instead of where. There are times when you use the same word or phrase several times close together.

Fix these little things and your delightful characters and charming dialog will make this great story a spectacular one. You have a great deal of talent!
03/01/11
wow! great story should be a winner!