The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/20/11
I could relate very well to the characters in the story. I loved the title, "When Kings Go to War."

There were a few grammatical difficulties. The sentence, At the time I met her she had gone back to gambling and was debts, for example. However, these minor mistakes, did not detract from the overall message you communicated.

Please keep on writing. I look forward to reading more of your work.

01/23/11
You chose a tough topic and handled it well, I think. I can really relate to that bit about not wanting to be someone's crutch. Unfortunately I've met people who didn't want to give up the crutch, but we do have to listen to His leading in all such situations.
You make such a valid point. Sometimes we can help a person too much. It's important to listen to God and to know when to step up and when to step back.
01/24/11
the title and the story did not seem to go together until you got to that explanation about seasons and being in the place God wants us and the person for the time.I could relate to lots of this in the story and although i got a little lost in some of the chronology of your description i found there was some very relevant parts too.thank you for writing this and reminding us that when people stop coming to church there is often a reason.