The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is a super sweet story. I love the characters, they all felt quite real.

If you double-space between paragraphs this could make this easier to read. Also when you introduced the dog, I was confused. Just rearranging a few words would make a huge difference.

You have great storytelling abilities. Your first sentence pulled me in and I had to keep reason. You surprised me by making the illness the father has alcoholism. That's a really good thing. Keep writing, you have a great deal of talent.
very engaging story and a surprise ending :-)
I loved this from beginning to end. The ending was great.
This is my favorite story this week with a wonderful ending. I wouldn't be surprised if it takes first place.
Your story caught and held my attention from beginning to end. I experienced empathy, suspense, and anticipation as each scene unfolded. Just one bit of red ink - "to" instead of "too." As mentioned earlier, spacing would make the story easier to read; especially making a new paragraph when writing dialogue. Excellent, well written entry.I also thought your title was quite clever.