The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
You did a nice job showing what a sister might sound like and do during a squabble
12/02/10
Good job describing a sisterly tiff. Be aware of how often you use a character's name in dialogue. Read it out loud and see if the repetition is necessary. If not, you can free up some words to add to your story! Fun idea.
Your story spoke to me. My husband has a poker face so I never know what he's thinking. That's not good. But my face is an open book for all to read--not good either. This challenge has caused me to think I need to work on my facial expressions so I express more joy and love, not anger, pain or sadness. Thanks for your message.
12/08/10
Interesting dialogue and just like sisters. I suggest you not begin each sentence with the person's name. Good job.