The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I like the story you told about the different computers you went through. I chuckled at the play on words in the title freight and fright! Very clever.

Some red ink- I noticed you repeated several words or phrases in the same stanza for example in the first verse you use job 3xs. Near the end I noticed you used their instead of there.

All in all it was a good attempt at telling a story in rhyme especially since this was your first time. Keep on writing only you can tell your story:)
You brought back a lot of memories with the ever-changing operating systems. I enjoyed your progression. Keep writing!
Thanks for a good story, and congrats on your first poem. It encouraged me when you gave credit to the Lord at the end. Keep on practicing and reading poetry. There's always something new to learn. :)
Yes, it is a paradox computers can crash and break all over the place and then we turn around and find we do need them. I enjoyed your story/poem very much, especially reading the progressions of computers and operating systems. God bless your writing.