The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/21/10
This is a heart-warming story. It is a clear example of how God works through people. There are a few technical errors but the message is dramatic.
10/23/10
Very inspiring--it reads like a true story, and I hope it is!

There are a few comma splices and other minor errors that occasionally interrupted the flow.

It's amazing, the power of one conversation!
As a nurse I could relate to this story. You did a great job of pulling me into the story.

I noticed a few errors like than instead of then why instead of while that you might catch if you read it aloud.

Overall though you did a fantastic job of creating believable dialog and endearing characters.
10/24/10
Good story. It held my interest all the way through and makes a wonderful point. One conversation can make all the difference in the world.
Very touching, very warm and very real. You have a heart that exudes sharing the gospel and helping others to find their way to Christ. I read this as if I were your mom and it made me proud. Real proud!
Other than the afore mentioned spelling and grammar errors, this was a great story! Very profound. Good job!
A good read all the way through. Others mentioned the minor issues I saw, but it is well written and held my interest.