The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is a great message. It is easy to change who we are to please others, but it's almost always a bad idea. The story really picked up in the end when you started showing the reader what was going on rather than just tell. Good job, keep writing, I'm eager to read more of your work.
This was cute! There is much to be said for the "plodders" in life.

One suggestion: try to put in some "white space" between your conversation lines - it makes it easier to read.

Keep writing - you have a definite gift!
Change can be good, but changing ourselves because of something that someone said might not be the best plan. I like how you developed Sally through this piece.