The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
With some minor editing, this could be number 1! A great little story...I love the inclusion of John Wayne - only "the" best western star there is. Thanks for sharing!
09/19/05
Very atmospheric, and you really make your reader quite fond of Sonny. Tighten up the editing for a better-than-beginner piece.
09/20/05
Very cute story.
09/21/05
Great writing technique and story-telling ability! What a wonderful reflection of a historical place too...

You need to move up a level!
09/22/05
Definitely good work! Tighten up some of the sentences and spelled words.
09/22/05
I like it. :) Yup. No doubt about it. Keep trucking and putting it out...
09/22/05
I LOVE the romance in this! Oh so sweet to see your protagonist's point of view. Great job!!!
09/22/05
Nice story. Needs some editing, though.
09/23/05
Delightful! I love this - I could just see it all unfolding like a classic movie!
09/27/05
Ali, you already know that I love this piece and have my feedback about ways to make it tighter. It was a creative take on the topic and of course, the introduction of those cowboys worked like a treat. I just wanted to let you know that you actually did quite well in the Level 1 rankings as well, placeing 15th out of 44. So be encouraged. With your creativity, imagination AND enthusiasm to grow and develop, I think we're going to see some excellent things from you in the future. With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)