The Official Writing Challenge
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This is a wonderful analogy. I have lost hope before and gone through dark times in my life, but as soon as I call God's name He answers.
The first part read like a script. I could almost picture the video showing God's face appearing and disappearing. But of course the emotions aren't visible in that way, but you described them well.
I agree with Phee. In writing, we can get out-of-the-box and show what we wouldn't dare elsewhere. This is an interesting twist to describe Job's desperation for his God.