The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
The story of you and the young father truly drew me in.

I'd suggest that starting with a definition isn't usually the best 'hook'. I'd have looked for a way to incorporate the "breath" aspects of the word into the narrative of the story, and start with the really good stuff--your conversation with the young man.

Very good writing, and I'm glad I read this story.
This was a touching story and once I got past the definition I really enjoyed it.
What a beautiful story. God is so amazing in how he leads us to bring Him glory. Very touching. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your story. It's always a blessing to read how God uses people.