The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/29/10
You have certainly shown your writer skill in describing the sensations of walking on a beach. Well done!
This is well-written and inspirational.

Your first paragraph might seem less daunting if you split it into 2 or 3 paragraphs.

I'd hate to have anyone look at the first paragraph and then skip over your wonderful message. It is so wonderful how God can take something broken and turn it into a beauty.
04/30/10
You did a fine job relating what God can do with broken and discarded lives. He always sees the diamond in the rough. Or in this case the sand dollar less than perfect.
A writer has the ability to do likewise with words from the heart.
05/02/10
This was a lovely message, written beautifully.
05/02/10
I loved the story.

I saw a lot of "craft" and "skill" but I didn't really see "writing," at least not in the story itself.

I think I'd like to have one of those sand dollar creations. They sound pretty neat!
05/02/10
This is lovely! With a beautiful message, too. I could picture (and feel) the beach. The topic is weak - you barely mentioned writing - but your point was well made and illustrated. Nice devotional piece. :)
Wow, I found this to have an extremely nourishing message and growing up on the ocean, you took me right back. I could feel the oozing sand, hear the seagulls and smell that ocean spray. I found your descriptions of everything just as ornamental as your tree. AND I learned a new work "Kitsch" so enjoyed that as well. NOT being a grammar expert...did also think the first paragraph needed to be broken into several more but outside of that, this honestly, soothed me as I read it.
05/02/10
Don't feel bad about few comments - I think it happened to lots of us this week!

I really enjoyed this beautiful devotion, with its powerful, memorable message.

I did struggle to see the theme initially, but you brought it through in the last few paragraphs.

I felt you may have slightly over-used adjectives and adverbs. If you check Jann's classes on the board, she's done one on that subject.

On the whole I think you should be very proud of this one, Barb!
I enjoyed this much also. The main thing I would do, if it were my article, would be to change "The outcome of this day LED ME to a deeper understanding of how Christ had meticulously crafted his creation into beautiful works of art. God is the Great Author and Creator, and what He had crafted is the ultimate masterpiece." I'd make it: "The outcome of this day WOULD LEAD ME TO ..." and give those two sentences their own paragraph. Your use of past tense in that particular spot in that sentence leaves me as a reader kind of scrabbling around trying to figure out why I've missed the specific things that already led to that understanding in what I've already read. However, I agree with everyone above that this is a beautiful devotional with excellent description that brings my own walks on the beach back vividly.
05/03/10
This is gorgeous is its own right--wouldn't have taken much to make it slightly more on topic. The metaphor is there, in your title and in your next-to-last paragraph (implied in the resot of the piece). Just expand that a bit, and this is a real beauty!
05/03/10
Thanks for the reminder that God can make everything beautiful... even our "rough drafts"!
05/03/10
Creatively done, Barb! I loved "this walk on the beach". Your descriptions vividly showed the handiwork of God.