The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Oh, wow - great descriptions, and you put me RIGHT in the middle of this. I had a lump in my throat throughout. VERY nicely done!
Lovely story, and so well written. The reader feels the excitement. I just need to know if "Mom" wss going to be o.k.!
I could definitely feel the tension and stress here.

I'd suggest tightening up the first paragraph, and a few edits of dialog...easily done.

Love the ending; it's just exactly right.
Hey Rachel, congrats on placing 15th in the Level 1 with this entry! There are so many talented writers here, so great job! If you haven't already, be sure to check out the Highest Rankings on the boards: