The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
A credible story. It seems you know military life, and have many more stories to tell us. Some great word choices too. Keep writing.
I liked your good writing. You used strong words and phrases. Keep it up in well-doing.
I like your voice. You tell it like it is. This would make a fitting devotion in an Armed Forces magazine.
I like how you write it in military talk. The first part with the location and stuff I can imagine type-scrolling across the screen on a movie.

The character's problems with the walkie talkie radios was humorous. I can see him getting everything right and then . . . ahh! And by the way, you just gave me a new favorite word - snafu! Even if it does mean a "confused state of things" it's still fun to say. :)

The last part didn't set so well with me. Like you were saying that anger or numbness to death is a good thing. Maybe it's a misunderstanding on my part. Anyway, the rest sounds good, although the ending could use a little revising.