The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
What an awesome story! I could tell this was a different country, because I don't know what a "Jeepney" is. Then, at the end, you revealed the location. I loved all the descriptions.

Good job with the writing!
Lovely missionary story! I could see the streets and the people you described clearly. And yes, what a beautiful color to represent the streets of gold.
I am always in awe of what missionaries do.

The letter format made this believable. Nicely done.
A story with good heart. Work on your tenses as you switched back and forth some.
The last paragraph or two added so much.
Well done--you captured the broken English of your narrator very well--I could hear her speaking!
I like the letter format you chose, and the rich detail of another culture also. I kept wondering what she was going to tell "my children" and your ending didn't disappoint at all. Very nice.
I liked the way you did this in letter format. Very easy to read; in fact it was, as Jan said, like listening to your MC speak. Well done, I really enjoyed this.
Very creative and hopeful. A few "rough" sentences here and there, but over all very good! I enjoyed this a lot.