The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Very nice work, your message and characters were very well crafted.

A couple of suggestions:

1) Don't repeat your entry title at the beginning. I'm not sure whether it counts against the word limit, but as a reader I find it distracting and it does not reflect the demonstrated authority of your writing.

2) At one point you write the line: "Ralph is very intelligent". I would think making that an MC revelation and illustrating that would have added depth and reader empathy for Ralph.

With this quality of writing, I cannot imagine you will be at this level long. Great work, keep writing!
Yes, add more characteristics of Ralph as a real person. Great story!
This story kept my interest from beginning to end. It emphasizes that we Christians need to always be ready and willing to give the gospel. I agree with one of the reviewers. I always find it distracting when the title of a work is duplicated in the body of it. Other than that, I thought your story was quite impressive. Laura
Very nice narritive. A little dialogue might have punched it up some, but I really enjoyed the story, your sincerity and the message. I liked the way your protagonist prayed for the man and what the purple represented. Good job.