The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1246 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
08/08/05
Good writing enabling the reader to understand and empathize! Keep up the work!
08/08/05
Very good writing! The dialog between the protagonist and God is top-notch.
08/08/05
Heart wrenching and amazing! Good Work.
Excellent writing! God's answer troubles me somewhat though. Still thinking about that.
08/11/05
Skillful, well done, a complete story. This one gets my vote.
Grabbed me from the get-go! Great writing!
08/11/05
You took me with you on this journey, the imagery and especially the use of memories and dialogue drew me into the character. A painful story well told.
08/11/05
Wow - a beautifully written piece encouraging the broken to call on Jesus.
08/12/05
Oh wow -
08/12/05
Great writing. You should not be in beginners. As to God's answer, there are many kids who ask for God's help in the midst of these things and he never shames/guilts them with an answer like that. He just tells them that he has to let sinners make their choices so that righteousness remains a free gift, not an obligation.
I was just settling down in the cabin, when: "Certain things had always brought the memories rushing back. The striking of a match. The smell of oil and grease and sweat mingled together. The feel of cold damp bricks. A young child crying. Earth beneath her nails. A checked flannel shirt. Stale breath against her cheek. The taste of blood. A whisper in the dark." Shocking! Maddening! I really enjoyed the lesson about "asking" - a good one. Asking is at least the first step toward healing, if not the final one.
08/14/05
I don't think you'll be in beginners long! This was beautiful. I could visualize the place, feel the pain, feel the release.

I do wonder about God saying that he was just waiting for the main character to call as a child though ... He may well have been with her, but wouldn't have waited for her to call before rescuing her, would he? Bad things happen......

Just a thought. Overall, I love your entry.
08/15/05
Beautiful imagery and great writing.
01/28/06
How did I miss this excellent piece? No wonder you didn't stay in Beginners that long! Wow Jules, this is so special. And done so well. This is some good writing.
05/09/06
Chilling - very good writing. You made this character and her past very real.