The Official Writing Challenge
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Oooh, interesting twist. I was wondering where you were going with this. The ending was good, you captured all the right qualities in Jordan that made it fit this story. Nice.
Reading along I hoped for little hints to show where this was going. This would make into a nice children's story. If the devil is involved it wouldn't be nice now would it? Good job!
Ouch. What a twist in this piece. Good work.