The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
03/12/09
I'm sorry, but personally I did not like this. The images were very powerful; you certainly have a gift for painting word pictures. But the piece read like a horror movie, the kind of movie I would not choose to watch.
Not all faithwriter entries have to have a Christian theme, and I am not saying everything written here has to be sweetness and light. The world is a dark place and we are called to expose that darkness. My misgivings with this piece stem from the fact that it is not exposing any particular African issue. It comes from your imagination and tells of a nightmare that could occur anywhere in the world.
I recognise that towards the end you acknowledge Jesus' power over evil, but what I as the reader was left with was not an assurance of the loveliness and power of Jesus. I was left with some very powerful negative images that I would prefer not to have in my mind.
I'm sorry if this comes across as very critical. It is how I reacted to the piece. Please consider your readers. What message are you wanting to convey?
03/12/09
Hi - You lost me a few times in the story - I did like the ending it wrapped up the story for me. Good luck.
03/13/09
Okay, so I honestly understand where you are coming from. I'm sure many individuals have had such horrifying dreams. I had some trouble understanding how you got from the airport to the cable car, but then againt it is a dream. It was a little graphic, but on a positive note I believe you wrote well for the reader to understand where you were/what was happing. Perhaps you should think though, why you want to share this story with your readers?
03/14/09
I'm not quite sure what to say.I was relieved to see it was a horrible nightmare.

The images are very vivid, although I wasn't quite certain what your message was.
03/15/09
It was clear to me early on that this was going to turn out to be a dream, and what a scary one it turned out to be! I'm glad the MC was able to invoke the Name of Jesus with faith and power. You need to be a little more careful with your punctuation, and it was bit uneven going from facts about Africa back to the action of the story. Good descriptive work and story telling. I hope you aren't discouraged by your comments - I see lots of potential in your writing!
Hi there,
As a person who lived in Cape Town and who loves Cape Town with a passion, I hope one day you do visit it. Your imagination and vivid horror story was well told with a few minor errors.
I do however feel that it was a pity you didn't give more details of Cape Town or the mountain, as they both are world class tourist attractions.Standing on top of the mountain is truly an awesome experience.
Keep writing you have an awesome imagination.