The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Love the message here. Wonderful lesson in it for us. My only note was the rhyme seemed a tad forced in a few places, otherwise, I enjoyed this and was glad that the Hunter didn't "get" the injured one. ^_^
02/06/09
I enjoyed this poem. Glad to see the other birds come to help. I personally would love to see this with a couple pictures.
02/06/09
A sweet bird tale with a lesson!

A little bit of forced rhyme and meter irregularity--if smoothed out, would really make this poem pop.

Great imagery, especially in the beginning.