The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/15/09
This is the first one I've read today that actually made me laugh--thank you so much for the humor!

I loved the story, but thought that the end fizzled a bit. No big deal--it's a great entry.
Very clever title. Love the relationship of your characters and your wit. Look forward to reading more from you. :)
Love this slice of life. I kept waiting for the wife to announce an unplanned pregnancy. Very entertaining.
Great entry. Loved your characters.
01/21/09
Very good entry. I would have liked the story to go on a little further because you developed some interesting characters.

Pet peeve: The correct use of the phrase is "couldn't care less." No big deal though, many people use that incorrectly.

The dialogue and descriptions are very good. I agree with other posts, you'll be moving up soon.
This was fun to read! You developed some interesting characters with great interaction between them.

I agree that I was waiting for the punch line -- that the wife was pregnant or some other life changing event.

Very descriptive and entertaining reading, though!
01/21/09
I enjoyed this a lot, very descriptive and entertaining. You really held my attention.
I love the interaction between this couple. Great humor!
01/21/09
Very humorous. Well done!
01/21/09
I driven through Missouri and thought it interesting that many county roads have letter names. :) Your MC is either my brother-in-law or a close relative. :) We "fight" the Civil War all over whenever we see him. :) Great story!
01/22/09
Too short!

I agree, you have enough room to make a point here or add a punchline to your story. Great dialogue; try to show, more than tell with your descriptions. I did like the phrase "stomach churning curves". A few more great lines like that and your writing will be stellar.

Nicely done!