The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 555 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
10/25/08
I enjoyed where this was leading but I am a little confused if grandma is still alive? The last line made it appear as if she wasn't, but the first line made it seem as if she was coming to spend the night. Good job with the subject and keep writing.
I like the memories in this piece.

Just a few notes to help you out. The word "grandma" needs to be capitalized when referring to "Grandma Jane." Also you said "read" instead of "red" when describing the frosting color, but I'm sure that was just a mistake that you overlooked.

I would have loved to hear more about the grandma. She sounds like a great lady. Don't be afraid to use your full 750 word count to tell your story. Thank you for sharing, and keep on writing! :)
10/26/08
Maddy's Gandma sounds lovely.

You didn't need the commas in these two bits:-
"Maddy who was five years old love's helping grandma bake." and "Jane had a few special recipes'"