The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/09/08
Nice, introspective piece with a moodiness that appeals to me.

I wasn't clear on the setting--if it was the Great Depression or some possible future depression...just a few more clues as to the time period might have helped. A little bit of a closer edit, and you've got a very good story here.
A starkingly prophetic piece...that hopefully will not come to fruition ... but if it does, I believe a daily dose of carolling would be great medicine! :)
I agree with Patrick. It's chilling to think this could very well happen in our day. But as God's children, we do not have to fear it.

Well written.
Great job showing emotion and love the hope shown in the last paragraph.
Well done on what might prove to be a very prophetic piece of writing.
I could feel your emotion.
Norms
I like how you used your title in separate, but distinct places in your very good propetic story.
Very nice writing, espcially in setting the mood and character of the MC. :)
10/15/08
Very creative and challenging entry! Great job. Just a little tweaks on the sentences would improve it, but your writing keeps getting better and better - you have great talent and it's exciting to see you keep writing!
Your title drew me in. At first I began to think of the past depression, but with your title, it could very well be a new one. I liked the way your title went through the story too. Well done, I really liked this.