The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/25/08
Your article is filled with such hope. Many families are in the situation you described.

Great job.
07/26/08
Beautiful! what a wonderful ending! Thank you for writing this.
07/28/08
A very good read. You have written very well in expressing the emotions and the hope, and in capturing the readers' attention from start to the end. Great work.
07/28/08
Wonderful entry. Sadly, there are too many young women in this situation. Thank you for pointing out this trap that they're in, and for bringing in the hope that can draw them out. This was a great story.
A great story of hope and love from beginning to end.

What a wonderful example of how the church can help young people desperate for love and reconciliation. Very well done indeed.
I was very blessed by your entry! You did an excellent job of drawing your readers into the story. While reading this, God put in my heart the story of the prodigal son. God can put our broken lives together if we just give Him a call. Very well done! God bless.
07/29/08
Really enjoyed this - well written, good details, and emotion grabbing. (I was almost crying with her at the end.) I like how the odors "grasped" her hair. Great word choices throughout.
Very well written piece with a wonderful message of hope. The details were perfect, drawing your reader in the story. Excellent job!
07/30/08
You took great pains with this and it shows! I love your word choices and the way you constructed it so beautifully. Kudos!
07/30/08
This touching story left a lump in my throat and a prayer in my heart for the many girls in such a situation. It also reminded me of a poem I wrote: "The Lights of Home." ... What a clever title for your story! Great writing...Helen
Oh my, this is so sad, but hopeful at the end. I was glad that she was able to call and get ahold of someone who cared enough to listen and just listen and pray for her. Wonderful job and a good MC. I'm glad it has a good ending. ^_^
Even though this is a fictional story, the truth is that there are many young girls out there that are in this exact situation. If only they all had a kind pastor to help them reach God and their families.

A very touching story. You keep on getting better with your writing each and every week. :)