The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Great job with all dialogue! I like writing in that style too. You did well showing the teenage girl's thoughts and how they changed.
Oooh I did like this! Your narration and dialogue was very good. I can relate to everyone likes to pile up onions on their burgers. Oh yeah, the more onion the better :- )
I like the way you portrayed the teen, very realistic indeed. Great story all round, well done Carole!

Nicely done...great job capturing the "tude" of a teenage girl. Great work!
Your format moved this entertaining entry right along. I loved how you captured the teenager. Ouch I remember those days.

Keep upo the good words.
Good job. I liked the way you moved the story along with just the dialogue. Good, realistic take on a teen girl.
As I was reading this, I was thinking, oh how much she is going to cherish these memories someday...little did I know you were headed in the same direction. You've done an excellent job with both dialogue and thought patterns, truly capturing the mind of a teen. Your story telling is very engaging, too. BTW, thanks for your insightful input on my article, too. Loren