The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/29/08
Memories with cousins? I could spend all day,sharing memories with my cousin. I had a crush on a cousin, too. I thought you were going to talk more about that. Well done.
Keep writing.
Nice personal narrative. You expressed the emotions of each character well. Good job. :)
A very enjoyable read. The dialogue was extremely well done and the descriptions of the scenery made me want to be there. I loved the reminiscing about how they met made it all the sweeter. Great job Pamela :-)
06/03/08
Ha! I also had a crush on my cousin... wrote a story with him it this week too :-)

It felt like you had two story lines happening ... the crush and the game... maybe dropping one of them and concentrating on the other would have made this an even stronger story.

I really enjoyed your dialog and the descriptions were great... very good entry!
06/04/08
I agree with Shirley--you've got 2 stories here. They're both very entertaining, but if you'd worked on one or the other, you'd have had more room for plot development or characterization. This was great fun to read.
06/04/08
I really like how you developed the relationship between the two girl cousins, though at first I thought the story was going to be about the cousin she had a crush on. Nice job, Cheri
You certainly have knack for telling a story and developing your characters to their full potential. I saw two story lines going on here (the crush and the monopoly game which started the friendship) - I think the story could have been stronger just focusing on one or the other. Loren
06/04/08
This was so entertaining, and I enjoyed learning about these cousins. Not only did I have a small crush on my own cousin at one time, all my friends did too! :)
Awww! What a way for the friendship to start, but it looks like they are great friends even all these years later. Fair or not *grin*. Good job! ^_^
You did a good job of setting up the cousins' relationship. One little nitpick--In an article you write out words instead of using abbreviations (hwy). I've noticed your writing is steadily improving. Keep it up. Your descriptions and dialogue were especially good here.
You definitely did a good job with the dialogue in this.

I would have liked to hear more about the crush on the cousin, but the rest of the story was good too. I enjoyed reading it. Keep on writing. :)
YAYA! Look who made it to third place!!! That is fantastic! Congratulations!!
06/05/08
I tell you what, this category may say "beginner" but you (and the other winners) are showing the rest of the field what good writing is all about. Congratulations on your win. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this fun story.