The Official Writing Challenge
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LOL! I love the suspense here! I was waiting and hoping that nothing bad would happen. Great job! I loved the characters and their trick for getting out of the dishes. I don't blame them-dishes are my least favorite chore! Definitely a favorite of mine this week! I sense there is more to this story...
05/29/08
I love this story, too! Great writing. It is very suspenseful and ornery.
Your dialog and the girls' perdictament was enjoyable.
Bet they do the dishes every night.
Good suspenseful story. Nice job. :)
Excellent work. I was disappointed not to know what happened to the intruders in the end, what they were up to. But the story of cousins was complete, as were the dishes when the girsl got back home! ;o)
Nice work, Cheri
06/02/08
This is well-written and engaging. Great use of inner dialogue. I like where you left the reader at the end. Well done!
Great story, I loved the friendship between the cousins. Youngest kids and dishes are natural-born enemies :-)
Well done Beckie, well done.
06/02/08
Wow--LOVE that last line!
Your story last week and this one this week definitely show big signs of improvement. You have crafted a really fun story here. It was a joy to read, and I loved the last line.

It would be fun to hear about more adventures that these cousins had.
06/03/08
Beckie, I read your hint on MB, just learning how to do this myself. You seemed to put yourself down, saying you were new at this, that you were a beginner. Well, beginner or no, your story was SUPER. I loved it. I could relate, having two older sisters, and also having spent lots of time roaming the cemetary. I loved your title and your conclusion. Great stuff!!...
Helen
06/04/08
That was good. I'd love to know what the horsemen were looking for. At first I thought they might be sheriff's looking for the missing girls, then I thought it was a prank set up by the older sister. I guess we'll never know unless you write an explanation story.
Great suspense--great writing--more like masters than beginners.
06/04/08
That last line is priceless, Beckie! Very creative and well written. I could see every scene as if I were there. Love this.
06/05/08
I really like this story! You held this reader captive throughout! Good job.

Excellent job with dialogue. Very enjoyable writing!
06/05/08
Beckie, wow, this is really, really good! The added touch of the foot cramp was a particularly good element, you could've even drawn that out a little to add to the suspense.

I know this is a true story (never catch me in a cemetary like that at night) but the term "abs" kind of threw me off on the time and setting. Seems somewhat contemporary, but what do I know, I'm a geezer.

I loved it, great job!
I really enjoyed this. You kept my interest from the title to the last word. Well done.
06/05/08
Congratulations on your highly commended, Beckie!! I liked this little adventure. Especially the discription of the two realizing how many dishes had been used to feed everybody. Ridiculous. ; )
06/05/08
Congrats Girl!!! It's up to level two for you :)!!!
06/06/08
I was only expecting them to hide for a while and go home, but the suspense was a fun surprise. Congratulations on your recognition.