The Official Writing Challenge
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This is very interesting! You pull the reader straight in and keep them involved in the story with this POV and the descriptions. I was with the MC feeling the spider webs, and those big black waterbugs. Wow, good job! ^_^
Thanks for the explanation of this game. Never heard of it, but could imagine the children playing it.
That thing with the bugs... that's how I feel sometimes when I play manhunt. Poor kid. And interesting way to tell the story.
05/30/08
You did a great job of describing what fears and dangers there would be if this was more than a game. I never would have guessed that was all it was until I finished reading it. Kind of sobering to think children would make a game out of what was once a dreadful horror to so many.
Interesting take on the topic and I appreciate the history lesson. I like the (shudders)they were well placed.
06/02/08
This was EXCELLENT! I certainly thought it was the real thing. A very masterful telling, creating a fearful experience, and then revealing that it was just a game -- this time. The piece is a bit light on topic, but the writing and the story are awesome. Great work, Cheri
06/02/08
Excellent! One of the best on this level this week, in my opinion.
Oooh, this was so suspenseful and had a "prickly" feel about it (if you know what I mean). Your mind plays tricks on you when you're playing in the dark so I understand fully what the little girl was feeling. It's not easy to write in the first person but this is great. Well done Marlene :-)
One of the best you have written so far in my opinion, Marlene. Very suspenseful, and I appreciated the explanation at the end.
06/05/08
Excellent work Marlene, you did a wonderful job building the tension though we know it is just a game.

When I started reading it the italics threw me a little, but the fact that your voice remained constantly in the MC's thoughts throughout, sucked me right in.

Most excellent!