The Official Writing Challenge
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I loved this.. the voice is excellent and flowed beautifully. Entertaining and well written. Good job!
Amazing how one small incident can change an entire situation with young people. You developed this change well in your writing. Nice job. :)
05/16/08
Wonderful story! I love the characters and the voice of the MC. It's a fun and well-written story.
05/18/08
Fun voice on this - and I love the transformation of both characters. Fun stuff!

Great development of characters. Love the flow and perfect touch of humor. Excellent job!
05/18/08
Excellent! Very entertaining read.

My only red ink--it may be too well written. Not many 12-year-olds are so articulate. But it's a charming story, and I grinned all the way through.
05/18/08
Excellent, Lynne! I loved this story. So much fun. Good job!
Laury
I love the voice of your MC and they way you told this delightful story. Great writing.
05/18/08
Excellent piece! Well-structured, great descriptions and engaging conversation. Well done!
I loved how you show that one act of kindness can change everything, and you did it without being mushy, the laughing at the end cinched it for me.
Well written and delightful.

I was surprised the girl was only twelve, I was picturing her as fifteen or sixteen...
05/19/08
This was a fun story, and very good writing.

I don't know why, but I thought the MC was a boy, until the bridesmaid sentence. I reread it, and I'm not sure why they voice sounds male to me, but it does. (And then when she helped him fight, that seemed male again.)

I like the lesson in here--family looking after family. Nice job with the topic.
I like the voice you used throughout. Cute story, and nice job with the writing. I think you may have changed tenses early on in the story-something to watch out for in the future. This is definitely a creative take on the topic.
The voice in this piece is what really makes it shine. You had me engaged throughout the entire story.

I really think it is an injustice that you are still in beginners. They best be bumping you up to intermediate very soon. :)
05/21/08
I enjoyed the point of view, the characters and the resolution. This is very good.
05/21/08
What an interesting take on this subject with just the right amount of humor. A very nice job, for sure!
I love that the soon to be SIL came to the rescue of Eric the Dweeb, who really wasn't all that horrible later on. Great job! I loved the last few lines. ^_^
05/21/08
This was a different relationship (brother/sister) and I liked it very much. Had a good young adult novel feel and sensibility to it. I was cheering for them both by the end.
This was a good story and done well. I like how you worked out the tension in the story at the end.
Congratulations! Well deserved!
Congratulation on your win. As I said before, great job!!
Yay Lynne! So happy that you're moving up to intermediate! I'm guessing that you won't be there for long though. :)
05/22/08
Congrats on 3rd place - this was one of my favorites this week. Well-written!!
05/23/08
Woowoo, sweetie! Congrats on placing - and 39th overall too! Not a bad "move" out of beginners, girl!
05/23/08
Congratulations on your 3rd place. This was one of my favorites in beginners--glad to see it placed.
05/23/08
An enjoyable read, and a very interesting twist...the in-laws being unmarried minors! Families are something else, aren't they?
05/26/08
Loved the characters and the voice. The fast pace worked well in the story as well. I could imagine the 12 year old girl talking rapidly, just like they're prone to do. Congratulations. Well-deserved win.