The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 692 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Oh, I felt bad for Emily, who tried and especially at the end where she continued to show Christ by not haboring any kinds of feelings towards her MIL. The ending was just perfect. Great job! ^_^
05/18/08
A very poignant story, and such a contrast between Ann and Emily!

Red ink: I caught a couple POV shifts here and there. Stay in one character's head, and that will help.

Nicely done!
05/18/08
What great lessons to be learned from this piece. Good job!
Laury
This one hit pretty close to home. I love the voice of your story and its beautiful message. Well done!
05/18/08
An important message of forgiveness...thanks!

I'd have liked the monologues to be dialogues, or at least to include narrative, putting them in context.

Great ending...the old woman's personality was still pretty crusty, despite her change of heart. A nice touch.
Sometimes it takes an outsider to point out what we don't see.

I want to be an Emily not an Ann, thanks for the reminder to show His love at all times.
Great message. Your characters are believable. I think you meant to say "dessert" instead of "desert". The first is a sweet dish after a meal, the second is that dry place where cacti grow, or it could mean to abandon someone or something. ;0)
This is very nicely done. I enjoyed reading it.
I wasn't happy seeing the mother-in-law get sick, but she sort of asked for it when she failed to be understanding of Emily's illness. I'm glad that Emily showed her kindness and reminded her MIL that Jesus is the only one who can truly forgive us of our sins.

Thank you for sharing. I enjoyed this.
This story tugged at my heart... my husband is a diabetic... I found myself getting angry at Ann... great ending.