Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Mother (as in maternal parent) (04/24/08)
TITLE: God's Masterpiece
By Kim Clendenin
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Have you ever tried to find a Mother’s day card for a mother and daughter relationship that never existed? Its very depressing reading all the sentimental characteristics that you wish your mother had been like. God is good though, and he new I needed to know a mother’s love. That’s why he sent me Judy.
When I was a little girl I wanted to be just like her one day. She loved everyone she met with unconditional love and compassion. She was a perfect role model of what a mother should be like. I always felt so sorry for her because she was unable to have children of her own, God has a plan for everyone though, and His plan for Judy was to give her unloved children to embrace as her own. I was one of the privileged to receive her love and affection..
I was so excited when Judy and her husband would drive down from WI to GA to visit my parents.
I was so starved for all the hugs and kisses she lavished on me. I followed her around like a little puppy dog enjoying all the girlish things my own mother did not have the patients for. She would let me watch as she put on her makeup and fixed her hair. I could ask her endless questions and she never got tired of answering them. Each moment with her was a treasure I held dear to my heart. I did not realize for years what she had given me. I was still trying to win my mothers love and affection, to no avail.
When I was forty two, I had a nervous breakdown. Through therapy, I finally admitted to myself that my mother did not love me and I would never be able to win her love no matter how long or how hard I tried. At the same time I realized what God had done for me. He had sent Judy so I would know the sentiments of a mothers love. I was overwhelmed with the urge to share with her how I felt, and how much I loved her.
As I was making plans to fly out for a visit, I received a call that her husband had passed away. Plans had changed, I would be going out for a funeral instead. As I look back on that sorrowful visit, I’ve wonder just who supported who during that difficult time in her life. My visit turned out to be just the distraction she needed to cope with her loss, and a inward healing for me.
A few days after the funeral, as we were writing out thank you cards. I began to feel so jealous of her step children and grandchildren. Tears pooled in my eyes.
“I am so jealous.” I said, whipping tears from my cheeks.
“Honey what are you jealous of ?“ She asked, looking at me with surprise.
“Because all these people are related to you and I’m not.” I sobbed with resentfulness. I was so embarrassed to be acting like a selfish little girl, incapable of withholding my feelings.
Judy pulled me into her arms, “ I love you just as much as I do them,” she said.
And I knew she meant it.
“Judy did you know, that you were the the only mother I ever really had?” I sobbed.
With tears in her own eyes, she whispered, “I know.”
We both cried over our losses that day. For her it was the sorrow of loosing a husband and for me it was the loss of a relationship I never had with my real mother, and yet a precious bond was made between us that I know will last forever.
Childish or not, I new in my heart what a mothers love really felt like.
God knew long ago what each of us would need. I praised him that night for His Infinite wisdom and love.
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