The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 673 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This is a lovel glimpse into your life! Thanks for sharing, I liked the details such as taking your daughter to the park, etc. Very good! ^_^
05/01/08
You have a lot of good thoughts but you need to organize them better. I would suggest to take time making an outline of some sort, pick your best points and then expand on them. Also make sure you watch for spelling and grammar - Your first sentence was incomplete - "Being a mother can be hard job." Being a mother can be a hard job. You had some great thoughts on being an overprotective mother. Maybe you could of picked that main subject and then expanded on that in detail. Keep writing, you had some good thoughts they just need a little something to back them up.
05/01/08
Great ideas and specific details.
Ahh, yes, all the things that come with being a mother of two children. It is an awesome responsibility.
05/03/08
I love your message. Nice job.

As mentioned above, watch for grammar and spelling. "my mother reminded me clean my room," would sound a little smoother as "my mother reminded me to clean my room." I noticed a few spelling glitches such as hamburger. Try running your story through MS Word first and it will help catch a lot of these for you.

Also, because this site does not allow you to indent paragraphs, it is nice to break them up by leaving a line in between them. You can preview your story prior to submission to see how it looks.

You had some wonderful thoughts that you put out here and I hope that you continue to contribute to FaithWriters!!!
You did get your thought across on motherhood and the privileges that come with it, along with the awesome responsibilities, too. However, I would try to give more examples of specific moments during your day. Also, try to missed words, misspelled words and your grammar. Keep writing, though, it gets easier. Be blessed.
05/05/08
I can agree with you that motherhood is hard; but a privledge. Run your piece through a spellcheck and grammmar check next time. Wrap the ending up with something that refers to the beginning. Tell a bit more of a story in the middle - you are lacking about 400 words. Keep working at this and God Bless You and your family. HUGS
05/09/08
What a wonderful mother you seem to be. Valiant effort. A bit of advice would be to take a good look at the tips being offered. You have great thoughts and insight into your children. Organize your thoughts a little more and you'll just fine. Enjoyed getting to know your family.