The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1011 times
Member Comments
What a great tribute to your grandmother. She sounded like a wonderful woman. It is awesome to see how her influence has allowed so many ministries to go forth in your family. I hope that you can all once again unite together, rather than being spread apart.

This sentence didn't make sense to me:

While Grandpa was too busy trying to earn a living during the depression, taking jobs that ranged from being a street vendor to working as a butcher, to think of the long-term future, Grandma worked to instill eternal values.

You might want to restructure it a bit. Maybe take out some commas and split it up into separate sentences with periods instead. Also, there were a few other minor grammatical errors, but this kind of stuff can be easily fixed.

I enjoyed your story. Keep on writing.
What a lovely memory to have of your grandmother, even though you never met her. I particularly loved the last line... "Someday I plan to give my grandma a big hug and say thank you for all she left us".

Remember to put spacing between your paragraphs, it makes the entry easier to read.

I enjoyed reading this, well done!

Grandparents are a true blessing to a family. It's true, also, that many families have little time to spend together with their extended relatives-grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins-what a shame. I enjoyed reading this account of your grandparents and what they have brought to your life.
Thank you for your comments.

I'm a newbie, and this was my first challenge entry, and I didn't know how long it would take to reach the 200 quota, so I rushed my piece.

This time I am taking my time, and hopefully my sentences will not be as convoluted, though my mind tends to work that way.

It made perfect sense when I wrote it, but in re-reading it after a week's time, I can see the problems. Carole L

Welcome to the writing challenge! I'm glad you found it, and I'm glad you found the message boards, too.

You already know that there are some grammar errors, so I'll mention something else, since you asked for suggestions. With 200 entries, you want yours to stand out in some way, so find some way to make yours unique. This is a lovely story of your family's legacy, but there's not much here that's substantially different from the stories of many other families. Use your full 750 words, add one great family story, or if necessary, write this essay more like a fiction story, to help us to get to know the characters better by their dialogue and their actions.
Very nice story here; I too would've loved to seen it drawn out, highlighting a particular event or memory. I am looking forward to reading more of your work!
Lovely memories here. I enjoyed this.
Nice job, Carole. Lots of "heart" in your writing. Don't let yourself be too rushed by the limit of entries. Because of work, family, etc., I once had to wait until Tuesday night and was still able to get my entry accepted. Take heart. :)
What an accomplished family, I agree with grandma that it is too bad that they haven't stayed in touch. Much heart in this entry. I too would have liked more words, a few specifics.
Loved the memories you have shared.
This is a GREAT first entry.
This is great! I liked your opening, especially the details with the tennis shoes, that made this part more believable.