The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/13/08
Nicely done. Be careful to not just list food items--you can draw the reader in more by writing what he sees, e.g. the fudge slid down the sides of the sundae cup, etc. Engage the reader by letting us see and smell and feel with the main character. I liked the message of seizing each moment to engage others with the good news.
03/15/08
Very nice story. You made me most hungry for our beloved McDonalds:) Keep on writing, you certainly do have talent and Sally gave you wonderful ideas to improve. In fact, she helped me, too:)
Laury
I never go to Maccas, but I haven't had lunch yet and you made me :) I love the way your MC took to opportunity to witness to the biker. God will always use willing hearts. This was a good story. Well done.