The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
02/22/08
What a sad, sad situation.

You had some randomly capitalized words that were a bit confusing, and this could have been dividied into several shorter paragraphs.

It's an all-too-common occurance, isn't it?
02/24/08
I like your title. Very good. This was very creative but also very sad. Ask someone to proof your work. It would make it much easier to read. Keep on writing. You have good things to share!
Laury
02/25/08
This takes my thoughts to Ecclesiastes 2:11 NIV

"Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
nothing was gained under the sun."

This is a sad one within a Proverb: Be not deceived by vanity.

"Illusive Dreams" I like this title

Enjoy your gift and Keep in the Writing Lane. : )
God bless, Helen

The spacing at the first led me to believe this was a poem. Then, with the dialogue at the later passages, it read more like a story with paragraphs. :)
Good story in prose. Too often true I'm afraid.