The Official Writing Challenge
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Wow - I didn't see that coming! Very creative. I like the character, Randy, that you created and definitely did NOT like the brother -- very good writing!
Oooh you took me in completely! For all Allen's attending church and Bible study five times a week, he still hadn't learnt about love. Randy has been spending more time with the Lord than his brother and doesn't it show!
Great story!
Some very good writing here. I loved the lines describing the older woman. Some red ink: First the story was good and showed some masterful writing at times, but the opening was a little weak. You have to try, not always, but especially when you are trying to get noticed, grab the reader straight away. I think you still had some words to play with so you might have been able to create a lil more suspense as to what the non-church going "bro" was up to; had him hiding something that might have caused suspecion on the church going bros part. And then finding the tools or whatever at the end.
But, those are just suggestions. You write very well and I really enjoyed the comentary of the last line. Keep up the good work. God bless.
Nice writing. You build your MC well. :)
Interesting story...I definitely didn't anticipate your ending. As far as the topic you have two brothers in two different "companies". I'm really wondering what kind of church Allen went to. This is very creative and gave me a lot to consider. Nice work.
A very creative story. Gives a lot of food for thought.
Great descriptive writing with a knack for story telling thrown in for good measure. You took the reader on quite a turn with your ending, giving us much to think about. I now wish Allen could have a change of heart and see just how real the call is on his brother's life.
Great twist at the end! I loved the story. My only fault would be that it is an anti-topic story.
I like the word choices throughout the piece. Very good job! Keep at it!