The Official Writing Challenge
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Nice title and dream sequence. Really flowed neatly into the story. :)
02/09/08
This is a well written entry. Good job. I could feel the thrill of bike scene, too. I remember doing that when I was young. Keep on writing!
Laury
02/10/08
Really super application of this week's proverb, and some excellent writing.

Take a look at the large number of -ing words you have, especially in the first half of this story. You may want to try to eliminate some of those and vary your sentence structure some. And in your very first sentence, it appears as if Justin's adrenaline is pedaling his bike.

Take heart--this is the kind of critique I'd give a very advanced writer, because that's the kind of writing I see here. You will be moving up soon, I'm sure of it.
A solid take on the topic, and a good job of concealing for a while that he was a prisoner.
A challenge buddy would help you catch small errors such as furry instead of fury, and emphasis instead of emphasize.
Also, I was wondering what the glare from the lawyer was all about?
Yeah for Justin and Justice and the Judge and your great ability to tell a good story. I really enjoyed the whole sequence from the dream (which was very vivid in detail)to the way you lead us into knowing the true character of Justin.
Never knew that just being assoicated with someone could bring up to 15 years. Yikes! Great job.
02/11/08
Exciting take on the topic this week. You did a good job getting your point across and keeping me interested in what happens to the MC.
A nice, creative take on this subject.
I wouldn't be surprised if this entry makes it to the top 3 in the beginner's category this week. Superb writing! I had no idea he was a prisoner until the very end, and I was happy to see the story end happily.
02/13/08
"Is there hope ahead or a cement wall?" -- Very visual writing on this topic. You transported me into the MC's head and I was pulling for him the whole way. The transitions between dream and reality were seamless. Loved the ending.
Justin is a great character. I am with him all the way, wanting to see what happened and not expecting him to appear in court, I thought he was a runner who'd hit a block or something in life and it was showing up in his dreams. This was pretty real and really good with the descriptions of oatmeal and the hoodie. Nice title and nice ending! ^_^
02/13/08
strong characters, strong writing. You've done well here!
Great story and great title. So sad that not all those paroled learn their lesson. Well written Marita!
02/14/08
Way to go, Marita. That ribbon looks great above your entry. Welcome to Intermediate Level Two!
Great entry.
02/14/08
Congrats! This had to place. It just had to. Excellent writing. Now get busy on the next one. ;-D
Yay! ***Congratulations!!*** Now up to level 2 with ya! ^_^
Great story! Congrats on your win.
Yup - really good writing here... a well deserved win. Congratulations!!
02/14/08
I am so, so happy for you Marita! You have so much talent! Keep on writing and I'll keep on reading your work!
Your admiring fan,
Laury:)
02/18/08
I am new to FaithWriters. All I have to say is that I enjoyed your writing very much. I am learning much from reading all the new articles.